Well I got to admit, it’s been an action-filled weekend. On Friday, I went on a field trip to CSU, went straight to work after, and then hung out at Kak’s. On Saturday, I took my ACT from 8 till noon, went to costume stores to get my costume, went to Walmart for food, went trick-or-treating, and partied for 3 hours non-stop. So I’m pretty much tired as heck by this point, but wait! On Sunday, I went to Dave and Buster’s and then to CiCi’s Pizzeria with the guys! So here I am now finally able to sit down and relax. I decided I wanted to chat a little about something I have noticed at all my school activites and college visits.
The Fantasy of Reality
So for those who don’t know, I am taking a Tech Prep Six District Compact Program called the Pre-Engineering Academy. I started it last year as a junior and am in the final year as a senior. It’s a very exciting progam to be honest. All the exams are optional (AKA no exams!), you get a real hands-on experience in a few engineering fields, actual college credit in high school, a field trip a quarter, and you get to go out for lunch if you want! Plus, the people in my class are pretty tight, and our class is the favorite of all time since the Academy started! The PEA is pretty cool, and I’m glad Tom and Justin persuaded me to join it.
Well, this year I was chosen to be a student ambassador for the PEA. A student ambassador gets to go to every school in the Six District Compact (Hudson, Stow, Kent, Woodridge, Cuyahoga Falls, and Tallmadge) and present the program he is a part of to the sophomores/freshman of each school. Its going to be pretty cool. I can’t wait to get to visit 6 high schools. We had an student ambassadors’ training meeting last Wednesday and so I went. The speaker gave some pretty helpful hints in how to present ourselves and give our speeches. She brought up how our futures are within our grasp and how we can be what ever we want to be…
I have noticed this a lot in many school activities, assembles, and college visits. They all talk about how our futures are going to be nothing but success if we pursue our education and “try our best”. Is this true? I’m sure we aren’t the first generation to get this kinda encouragement and praise from teachers or other officials. In fact, I know that this not true at all. Our lives won’t be defined by our success at pursuing our education or getting the high salary.God says that’s not how it works. How does God know where money brings success or not? Well, for starters he’s the all-knowing and all-powerful God who made the entire universe and the human race. Getting a job with high pay doesn’t define how your will turn out. It’s the relationships within your life that do, especially your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. It makes me kinda ticked off whenever I get lectures on how I can be whatever I want because it isn’t true. The kosmos is really good at creating a picture of the “happily ever after” kind of life. It’s called the “counterfeit kingdom” for a reason. The Evil One is very cunning especially when it comes to deceiving. He is the root of all division, evil, and hate. And you look at God, what a contrast! Well anyways back on topic…
The Reality of Reality
I know that my education is important and that although money can be an evil thing, it is necessary to survive. However, when you make money the source of your fulfillment, it won’t work. When I mean money, I mean the little things we buy, computers, cars, houses, everything that is a material. In the end, you die and all your possessions are gone. Now what do you have? NOTHING. That’s why everyone fears death, we fear losing what we are, what we have, and our whole existence.
So what can you do? You live for 70 years then you die. What would be the point of even wanting to live that long if you know that in the end, you’re still going to vanish from reality? There would be no point! Your whole life would be a waste! Maybe you try to contribute something to society, but even still you’re going to cease to exist after its over. I know, it seems pretty depressing because in reality it is. So you might ask a question, why was I ever even created? Why was put here to live for a few measly years to just vanish into nothingness again? The answer is there’s a God, and he made you for a reason. In the Bible, the Lord said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground” (Genesis 1:26). We were made to be co-rulers of Earth with God! Isn’t that amazing!? I can’t even imagine ruling the entire Earth, much less along side the Creator God!
Even though the thought of being able to rule the world with God is so incredible, its not like this now because we have strayed from our original purpose. We took God’s love for granted and told him, “I don’t need you! I can rule by myself!” Now look at the world, war is common, there is much world hunger, people live lives of depression and poverty, and there is much crime. Many people blame God for the fucked-up world we live in, but we were the ones who told him we didn’t want him! We took it upon ourselves to run things ourselves, and now we reap what we have sown.
So why even mention we can have a purpose when its become distorted by ourselves? Well, its because the Lord gave us a something to redeem for our selfishness and our pride, grace. Grace is the only way we can have purpose again and not just purpose but eternal life!! If you’re wondering how you can receive this free gift of grace, it’s really quite simple. You have to just confess with your mouth and your mind that you need God in your life, and you accept that his Son, Jesus Christ, died for your sins to make that possible.
Well, last weekend I went to see my brothers in Columbus. If you know me, I am not the first person to say, “Yippee! I get to hang out with my family!” Though, I will be honest. I have a wonderful family, and they have helped lead my life towards the Lord. I just like to hang out with my BOC rather then my family that’s all. Sometimes that’s a problem because I really should invest some time into my family for the time they have invested in me. Anyways, let’s continue with how the trip went…
Weekend Family Fling
My parents, little brother Josh, and I head down to C-Bus to visit my bros. There’s one thing I love about long drives and that is I get to read. In the past, I have always just listened to my music player and mellowed out to my music. After my trip to Florida last Spring Break, I have learned to enjoy reading on long drives (and sleeping), so now I am much more appreciative of reading and have learned a lot of things because of it. I was reading my copy of Dennis McCallum’s Walking in Victory which I didn’t have a chance to read in a while. Every time I open that book, I always learn something worthwhile, really worthwhile! It’s help to put many questions I have had about how to keep the right mind set, when I am being too works-orientated, and how I can put my focus on the Lord appropriately and effectively. Plus it always helps me put in perspective some arguments I have had with my mom in the past. I was reading a chapter that covered Walking in the Spirit and how to avoid legalism and formalism. It was so cool! Well anyways, if you ever have questions on how to orient and effective relate to the Lord, Walking in Victory has a lot of good pointers!
Finally, we reach C-Bus after a 2-hour drive. I got to see my brother Bryan’s apartment. Bryan works at OSU as a dorm director. Not too shabby of a place, pretty old. Bryan is a pretty cool guy, he is a man of the Lord. He’s done a lot of ministry in college, and he definitely has a grasp on what it means to have a relationship with Christ. In the past, I was pretty jealous of him. He always did well in school, had many friends, and had the right direction in his life. Now that I take my identity from Christ rather then from the people around me, I don’t have to be jealous because the Lord already sees me as perfect (I finally got that recently!). I’d like to dive into that for a sec…
Facing the Failures
Well I have been recently began to understand certain things about myself that I have always struggled with. Usually, whenever I am faced with fucking up I would always get utterly depressed, feeling like I failed my brothers and sisters around me. I encountered this a lot with past dealings with Stephen and Mike. Whenever I would make a big mistake, again and again I would always get angry with myself. I’d repent to the Lord about how fucked up I am, but I would never feel like that mistake has been put in the past. Past struggles often linger in the back of my mind, and it would affect my ability to relate with God, my BOC, and I would sometimes become overly obsessed with my mistakes.
Something happened recently, however. It wasn’t the fact that I stepped up and decided to accept my failures because I could never get past my failures on my own, not with how pessimistic I can be. I sacrificed a lot of time for the Lord, working on my teaching on Radical versus Convenient faith. Whenever I dive into the Lord’s word, one thing always hits me. The Lord is always the loving one. Looking at Lot, he always turned from the Lord even when he rescued his ass from certain doom! So many turn from God, and how do their lives turn out? They live lives of tragedy and uselessness… Compared to Abraham, Lot was a nobody! We don’t have to be like Lot; we can learn from his mistakes….
I realize what really matters, God’s grace. Another part of Walking in Victory was the reasoning of the Law. Did you know, the law is meant to make us sin? Why the fuck would God put something like the Law as a tool for us to sin? Maybe I phrase that wrong, and correct me if I did, but what I mean to say is why give us something that makes us want to sin? The answer is plain and simple: we aren’t able to keep the law. We never will be able to do it! Trying to keep the law’s commands means you’re trying to get God’s acceptance yourself. That isn’t how you do it at all! The law is not meant for us to try and keep its rules and commandments, but to realize that we can’t keep his commandments on our own! It’s impossible! So why make that clear? Because it shows us that we can’t depend on ourselves! We need to accept God’s gift of grace to gain his acceptance! God’s grace is his son’s death on the Cross for our sins. Living by the fact that Christ died for us is how it’s done! We gotta get over our pride and get the big picture! We aren’t perfect and we never will be… So why sulk over it? When you got a loving God who gave his son for you? (John 3:16) The Classic!
Continuing the Weekend Fam Fling…
The entire weekend I was actually talking with my parents about spiritual things! I was actually relating with them on a serious level, or more serious then before. It was a cool step taking, and I realize that I am changing in my personality. I know that 4 years ago I was a completely different guy. I was a snobby, ungrateful, hyper-sensitive prick! Well, I still am today, but I have changed much for the better! And to actually be able to cross the one boundary and relating with my parents on the same level as equals… Wow is all I can say.
My Family’s First Taste of Xenos
On Sunday, we decided to check out a Xenos CT in C-Bus. I had to admit, it was a little odd taking my family to a church that has been used by Lord so much in my life, and they still had the small formalist tendencies like dressing nice and sitting in your seat, standing up to sing, and then sitting down for the teaching, and then standing back up for more singing! Well anyways, I was also over-joyed to see them come. Even though it was my first actual CT in Columbus, I was really syced for my parents’ experience then mine because I knew how things worked. The teaching was on Elijah and challenging the priests of Baal. It was pretty interesting. It got on topics of religious relativism…
Well after the teaching, my family enjoyed it a lot. It made me pretty glad to see my parents enjoyed it. I know my mom enjoys singing, but she said she’d go to Xenos if she ever moved to C-Bus! My brother says he thought it was cool too. It would be cool to have Bryan in the C-Bus Xenos. Then whenever we go down there for XSI I could visit him and hang out with him at XSI! What I’m really praying for, though, is my brother, Kevin’s, salvation. He enjoyed the conversations we had at Max & Erma’s. I was glad to be able to do a little bit of witnessing to Kevin through discussing the Bible with Bryan and Dad. I know he’s deep in the kosmos right now with schoolwork and the liberal environment. My heart goes out to Kevin, so I’m praying that some C-Bus guys from Xenos who are at CCAD get in there with him! So I’m hoping I can somehow get a hold of some college people down there… Hopefully sooner then later.
After that, we didn’t do much. I’m ready to head home and get some laundry done before the day is over. A lot of things are happening lately, I’m praying for continuing to grow and relate to these guys in my cell and giving the gospel to my outreach. My goal for the school year is really to just to continue to grow in my knowledge of the word and to help bring someone to a relationship with Christ. The Lord is changing me, and I gotta say… I’m fucking ready for what’s next!
