Well, I am kinda bored, haven’t done much at all today so I’m going to try and do something useful and edifying with my time before I get some rest. I don’t really have a topic at the moment, so this part of the paragraph may not be here much longer I’m afraid…
A Good Bounce
I guess you could say I’ve had a truly blissful past week and weekend. Not because everything went exactly the way I wanted it to, well maybe more my way then usual, but really because I have just been filled with joy and gratitude. It’s so odd, when I’m ungrateful I can easily be overcome with deep feelings of loneliness and sorrow. When I’m grateful though, I am teeming with overflowing joy, and I share my joy with others. Love ethics class was super tight. I got to hear Martha teach for the first time (and possibly the last time), and it’s so cool how others-focused her thoughts and advice are. I am just blown away by all of the Xenos teachers, Keith, Greg, Dennis, Gary, and Joel. I think one of the most aspiring traits these teachers have is the ability to pull any verse from the Bible out of their asses for any situation just about. God is so heavily involved in their lives and it just amazes me how God grants these guys true significance, and I bet that, even though the Kosmos sucks ass, they get to experience some truly fulfilling joy that makes my joyous week look like a better then average weekend… I mean sure this week made me feel overjoyed but they spend every week giving significance to others who have less, little, or none. They routinely provide gifts of salvations, gifts of God-seeded wisdom, and some very powerful gifts of encouragement. They were willing to God seriously and humble their roles in the Kosmos to take on far greater roles in God’s Plan.
It was really cool to actually make an effort to reach out and relate to my brother. It may haven’t been some life-changing event, but rather a simple chance to go bowling and chat about video games and music. The Lord used me in my Chemistry class to finally start reaching out to a couple of Juniors. Though, there’s one taste I still have yet to try. The taste of praying with someone who has never prayed to God before. The taste of witnessing someone receiving eternal salvation through Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross. I have longed for the chance to see someone become a brother in Christ and be one of the first to welcome him to a whole new universe. I know that the joy would be truly fulfilling but only because of one thing, I was willing to completely rely on the Lord and pursue another’s life without knowing what to expect from each word I’d say.
The Greatest Test Thus Far…
This is the greatest test of faith I have been exposed to yet. So far, it hasn’t been in any way easy. The Lord has called me truly to witness to my friend, Alex. I know the Lord has chosen him specifically for me too because he’s the hardest to relate to at least for me. It challenges every aspect of how I relate to others. Not just in relying on the Lord to speak through me, but I have to work at enunciating the message clearly. I have to be patient with my words and listening to his. It’s so crazy because I mumble, like to handle things on my own, and I’m impatient!!
So, I just ask for your prayers, and I pray too for the Lord’s strength, patience, and some tact! I am tired, and I need some sleep. Yea, I don’t know what else to say. That’s what I came up with from just deciding to write a blog… By the way, today was blissful because of some things I don’t feel like sharing to the masses. 
One Other Thing…
I just want to send a round of thanks to some people before I leave. I really just want to thank the leaders and teachers in this fellowship. I have been countlessly blessed with wisdom, encouragement, and love. I thank Keith for his continued pursuit of others’ for the Lord, for pursuing my heart. I thank Greg for your amazingly sweet ability to randomly bust out verses from thin air for just about any situation I have brought up with you and for the sweet Christmas gift! Ha ha. I want to thank Joe for pushing me with his comments to start blogging more often. I am making a greater effort, though, it may not be for very long. 
I want to thank Kyle and B for always cutting me off of my selfish ambition of always wanting to listen to my music because I always need to be reminded of my selfishness and that the world, in fact, doesn’t revolve around me. Honestly, I was just thinking about it when I was chatting with Anele today. I hope that I get to grow old with you guys, or at least until the day the Lord reconciles us to him. I want to thank Dodd for helping carry that mountain of wood into the garage. I want to thank the Lord God Almighty for putting all of these dudes in my lives and using me to have an affect on these guys. Also, I want to thank Theodore for letting me date his wonderful daughter. Finally, I want to thank Anele for being a lovely girlfriend and a surprisingly good kisser… Did I say that? I lie! I swear we have never kissed! We would never do that! NEVER!!
Yea, I am just too overjoyed right now to say anymore… Here’s a song.
Well, today was a pretty sweet day. Not going to lie! I got to sleep in, go to Philosophy Club again after a long absence from that, and home church is always a refreshing experience and enjoyment. I have quite a few things on my mind at the moment so this may come out, pretty jumbled and sporadic.
The Scar…
It is such a scar on my heart to see one of my closest friends turn his back on me after all the great memories and experiences we have dealt with. We have been great friends for such a long time, since middle school! Now, we have never been so far apart in our relationship, but I still have to deal with him every day, for so many hours of the day too. It is such a struggle to deal with someone who you have been so close to in the past, but now they are a back-stabber, a con artist, a liar, and a false accuser. Now more then ever, he has ascended to a position where he defines the word, “swine,” and it is such a pothole in reaching out to my other friends who he hangs around with too. While I hang around him, he acts like a good friend; he even praises me for some of the English papers I wrote, which dealt with my life as a Christian! Yet, he is cruel enough to go behind my back and mock me from afar to his “allies.” Years before, he could have looked at what he wrote today and say, “Wow! What an evil thing to do!” Now, it’s the very thing he thrives on, seeing me and others fail and falsely accusing us of being sub-human. I weep for my friend. I truly weep for him. Even though he has grown into something so disgusting and evil, my heart still yearns for his repentance to the Lord and seeing him grow in the likeness of Christ. I am so glad that the Lord has grown so much in me these past few years.
The Glory of God…
Even with all the pain I have had to endure my friend’s false accusations and mockery, the Lord has softened my heart. He has given me a powerful position in ministry. He gives me strength in my weaknesses. He is a God of Love. He desires to see all men grow in the likeness of him. He desires the best of us. There are so many things about God that are so stunningly amazing and so utterly heart-warming and wisdom endowing. I am so full of His love. I hope to always return my eyes to His truth in suffering, in excitement, in spiritually fulfilling times, in depressing times. I am so appreciative of this period of fulfillment and empowerment.
Loving Others…
Yea, I think it’s going to be a very long process on building a mindset of others-centered. The Lord is really testing me with my patience because I know have very little patience. Man, I am just so glad how everything bad and good that happens to me can result in me growing in the Lord. Arg! I wish it was the beginning of college already! I want to learn how to become a man! I am tired of being a boy who still needs his mommy! I want to be able to be a man who can offer something to others! I strive for significance! Me and my impatience… I’ll learn some day..
I can’t wait till this weekend! I am finally going to reach out to my little bro and do something with him for a change! I must sound like such a geek right now… I think it’s just me though… I added this song, cuz it makes me think of the end of time and when we do arrive in Paradise City… maybe not the Paradise City they mean, but you know, where God will dwell with us…
